It is with a deep sense of disappointment that I observe the current state of public discourse, where the ideals of civilized decency seem to be slipping further from our grasp. Despite the progress we’ve made in countless areas, the simple yet profound values of respect, politeness, and empathy in our interactions are increasingly overshadowed by hostility and division. This is not just a concern but an urgent call to action—our collective homework, if you will. We must strive to restore these virtues to their rightful place in our society, understanding that the strength of our communities and the integrity of our leadership depend on it. Reclaiming civilized decency is not merely an option; it is an imperative for a future where we can truly thrive together.
In an age where instant communication often blurs the lines between assertiveness and aggression, the importance of politeness in leadership has never been more crucial. Throughout history, leaders who practiced civility and respect in their discourse have not only earned the admiration of their peers but also left lasting legacies that continue to inspire us today. As we navigate the complexities of the modern world, it’s essential to revisit these examples, especially for the younger generation, to understand how politeness can be a powerful tool in leadership.
1. Abraham Lincoln: Leading with Humility and Respect
Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, is often celebrated not just for his leadership during one of the most tumultuous periods in American history but also for his unwavering commitment to humility and respect. Despite facing intense political opposition and leading the nation through the Civil War, Lincoln consistently approached his adversaries with politeness and a willingness to listen.
One notable example is Lincoln’s letter to Ulysses S. Grant after the victory at Vicksburg, where he humbly acknowledged his own doubts about Grant’s strategy but praised the general’s success. This level of humility and respect, even in the face of disagreement, earned Lincoln the loyalty and respect of his colleagues and the nation. His ability to disagree without being disagreeable is a lesson in how politeness can be a strength rather than a weakness in leadership.
2. Mahatma Gandhi: The Gentle Power of Nonviolent Resistance
Mahatma Gandhi, the leader of the Indian independence movement, is another iconic figure who demonstrated the power of politeness and civility in leadership. Gandhi’s philosophy of ahimsa (nonviolence) was deeply rooted in respect for all individuals, regardless of their status or beliefs. His polite yet firm approach to resistance became the cornerstone of his leadership.
Gandhi’s Salt March in 1930 is a prime example of how he used politeness as a form of protest. Despite facing brutal repression by the British authorities, Gandhi maintained a peaceful demeanor, never resorting to anger or hostility. His polite yet resolute stance garnered international support and ultimately contributed to India’s independence. Gandhi’s leadership teaches us that politeness does not mean passivity; it can be a powerful force for change when rooted in conviction and principle.
3. Confucius: The Foundation of Politeness in Asian Leadership
Confucius, the ancient Chinese philosopher, has had an enduring influence on the cultural and social fabric of East Asia, particularly in China, Korea, Japan, and Vietnam. His teachings on li (ritual, propriety, or politeness) have shaped the values of respect, humility, and politeness in leadership across the region for centuries.
Confucius believed that leaders must embody virtue and propriety to govern effectively. He taught that a leader’s behavior should be a model for the people, emphasizing the importance of humility, respect for others, and self-discipline. These values are still evident in many Asian cultures today, where politeness is not just a social nicety but a crucial aspect of leadership and interpersonal relations.
For instance, in Japan, the concept of omotenashi (hospitality) reflects this deep-rooted respect for others, which extends into leadership practices. Japanese leaders are often seen as humble and considerate, prioritizing the well-being of their team members and the harmony of the group. This emphasis on politeness and respect is a direct reflection of Confucian principles.
4. Queen Elizabeth I: The Art of Diplomatic Politeness
Queen Elizabeth I of England, known for her sharp intellect and strong will, was also a master of diplomatic politeness. Despite the challenges of being a female ruler in a male-dominated society, Elizabeth skillfully navigated her reign with a blend of firmness and tact.
One famous instance of her politeness was during her communication with Mary, Queen of Scots. Although they were rivals, Elizabeth’s letters to Mary were always courteous, carefully balancing her political stance with respect for Mary’s position. Elizabeth’s ability to maintain polite discourse, even with her adversaries, helped her secure her rule and avoid unnecessary conflicts.
5. King Sejong the Great: A Leader of Politeness and Innovation
King Sejong the Great of Korea is another exemplary leader whose reign was marked by a commitment to politeness and the welfare of his people. Sejong, who ruled during the 15th century, is best known for creating the Korean alphabet, Hangul, which made literacy accessible to the common people.
King Sejong’s leadership style was characterized by his deep respect for his subjects and his advisors. He was known to listen carefully to the opinions of others, even those who disagreed with him, and to govern with empathy and fairness. His polite and inclusive approach to leadership allowed him to implement significant reforms that improved the lives of his people.
6. Nelson Mandela: Forging Unity Through Politeness and Reconciliation
Nelson Mandela’s leadership in post-apartheid South Africa is a modern example of how politeness and respect can transform a nation. After spending 27 years in prison, Mandela emerged not with bitterness, but with a commitment to reconciliation and nation-building. His polite and dignified approach to leading South Africa through its transition from apartheid to democracy was instrumental in preventing further violence and division.
Mandela’s famous gesture of inviting his former jailers to his inauguration as President is a powerful example of how politeness and forgiveness can heal deep wounds and unite a nation. His leadership exemplifies the power of decency and respect in overcoming even the most entrenched divisions.
7. Conclusion: Embracing Politeness as a Leadership Virtue
As we look to the future, it is essential for the younger generation to recognize that politeness in leadership is not an outdated or trivial concept. Rather, it is a timeless virtue that has been exemplified by some of history’s greatest leaders across cultures. In an increasingly polarized and fast-paced world, politeness remains a crucial tool for fostering understanding, building trust, and leading with integrity.
By learning from the examples of leaders like Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Confucius, Queen Elizabeth I, King Sejong the Great, and Nelson Mandela, we can cultivate a leadership style that values respect, empathy, and humility. In doing so, we not only honor the legacy of these great leaders but also contribute to creating a more cultured, civilized, and compassionate society.
Kaizeneers 
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